If You Fight (Corrupted Love Book 2) Read online

  It was what I thought of every night before I fell asleep, and sometimes I dreamed about that little house with the green grass and could almost smell the flowers I’d plant every spring down the front walkway. Yellow daisies or some other happy looking flower that told anyone who saw them that our house was full of love and joy.

  We could be happy. I believed that, even though I struggled to remember more than a few days of my entire life I could truly say were happy. A few of them involved my mother, and then for a long time, all I had were days filled with questions why she’d left and lies my father told me to keep me in line.

  The rest of my happy days were because of Ryder. That first night he invited me into his room. The times we spent talking as we lay on his bed, as close as we were now but still innocent. The night I went to his room with the candy I’d spent all afternoon making just for him and the sensuous feeling of his lips on mine for the first time.

  Every moment I got to be near him when I came home from the hospital after my suicide attempt. For the first time in my life, I’d had something that felt normal. I knew no one else would ever think of what he and I were then as normal, but when we sat down to eat breakfast and walked around the grounds each afternoon, each of us cared that the other person was right there.

  My mind always travelled to that night when the world thought my husband and I would be happily celebrating our marriage, and instead Oliver left me alone and I turned to the only person I knew would understand.

  The only person I wanted to spend that night with.

  Had our child been conceived then as we made love, finding one another’s body and soul after I’d been given away to another man?

  I choked back tears as I thought about the child we’d never have. Had it been a girl I could have dressed in pink and tied ribbons in her hair? Or had it been a boy who would have taken after his father and grown up to be strong and protective of the woman he loved?

  We’d never know. Oliver had made sure of that.

  And now I planned to make sure he’d pay for what he did. I just had to stay strong, no matter how hard that seemed.

  I heard him walk into the bedroom and instantly my body tensed like it did every night when he came home. Sleeping next to the man who’d tried to kill me, the man who’d taken my child from me, sickened and terrified me.

  He stopped at the foot of the bed and said in a low voice, “I don’t know what you think you’re going to do to me, Serena, but it won’t work. If your father believed it was me, he would have killed me by now, just like he killed my brother.”

  I knew who had killed Jacob. My father may have ordered his death, but he hadn’t gotten his hands dirty. The man Oliver thought to go up against had been the one to do it.

  And if my father ever decided my husband was to die, the same man would kill him. And I wouldn’t shed a tear.

  I remained silent as Oliver continued to stand there just beyond my feet. His breathing seemed labored, like he had to work to control himself, and I fought the urge of every cell in my body to curl up into a ball to protect myself.

  “There’s no proof of who attacked you, so whatever that little act in the hospital was, I’m not worried.”

  The shakiness of his voice told a different story. Oliver knew it was only a matter of time before I’d figure out how to exact my revenge.

  Flush with excitement about how cornered I actually had him, I pushed the covers down off my shoulders and sat up to face him. Instantly, I saw the fear in his eyes, but there was something else in them too I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  Not anger. No, whatever he felt wasn’t anger. As I stared up at him standing there looking at me, I realized what I saw in his eyes beside the fear that someone would find out what he did.

  He knew. I didn’t know how he’d found out, but he knew who I’d been with.

  “The truth always comes out, Oliver. No matter how hard you try to hide it, the truth is always there waiting for someone to see it.”

  Arching one eyebrow, he nodded as the corners of his mouth crept up into a smile that reminded me of my father’s. “Do you remember that night when your brother brought your shoes to you? I told you I didn’t want you to be around him anymore.”

  “Then you should have made that clear to my father because I’ve never stopped seeing him in my father’s office, when he drives me to the soup kitchen, and even when I have dinner at the main house. He is my brother, after all.”

  I didn’t know where Oliver was going with this. Whatever he planned, I didn’t want to be sitting down when it started, so I threw off the blankets and stood up, my legs shaking as fear wound through me.

  “What do you think the world would think about Robert Erickson’s daughter fucking the boy he claims is his adopted son, Serena? Your father is an important man who rubs elbows with politicians and billionaires in his business dealings every day. Do you think he’d approve of you and Ryder?”

  And there it was. The truth, finally. The reality of someone other than me and Ryder referring to us as anything romantic hit my ear oddly. The way Oliver said his name, practically hissing when it came out of his mouth, made what we were sound wrong.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Both he and I told you. He’s like my brother, and my father considers him his son. I even think he plans to leave his businesses to him. So I’d be very careful accusing Ryder of doing anything, Oliver. He’s the golden child even more than Janelle and I are.”

  “I know what’s been going on. You two haven’t been as clever as you thought. I saw you coming from his apartment tonight, and when I tell your father what I know, Ryder won’t be the golden child or anything else anymore. I have too much information on Robert Erickson for him to make the same mistake he made with my brother. You see, I’m far smarter than you ever gave me credit for, dear Serena.”

  There was no point in arguing with him about this. He’d called my bluff, and the one thing I hadn’t thought of had done in my plan for revenge. I’d never thought of the possibility that he’d be ballsy enough to go up against my father.

  I knew how his attempt to blackmail my father would end. Anyone stupid enough to try that found themselves dead. The problem was before Oliver died, he’d ruin any chance for Ryder and me to have that life I dreamed of for us. Ryder may have been my father’s pet project, but I doubted he’d be okay with us together.

  He’d caught us once before and I was sent away to another continent for two years. This time I feared Ryder would be the one sent away, never to come back. And then my father would simply find me another husband who suited his business interests.

  If I thought I could kill Oliver myself, I would have right there in that bedroom. I knew better, though. I wasn’t strong enough to take care of him.

  Gathering every bit of courage I possessed, I walked past him to grab my purse and hurried out of the apartment as he called out, “Go ahead, run to him. This will be your last night together because tomorrow he’ll be the latest name on your father’s hit list.”

  My mind began to spin out of control. Could I head off Oliver’s attempt to speak to my father by getting to him first? Maybe. But what would I say? Would I finally admit it was my own husband who pushed me down the stairs?

  No. Even if I reached my father first, when Oliver told him what he knew, Ryder and I would still suffer. It wouldn’t be enough to just preemptively cut him off at the pass.

  Oliver had to be taken care of or everything Ryder and I dreamed of would be lost.

  I ran into the main house and up to my old bedroom, locking the door behind me as I searched for the cell phone I used to contact Ryder. My hands trembling so much I could barely type out the words, I messaged him with a desperate plea.

  Meet me in my old bedroom now! It’s an emergency!

  Pacing back and forth across the carpet, I waited for what seemed like hours for him, but finally, I heard a quiet knock on the door. I opened it to see his eyes open wide in terror an
d pulled him in before quickly closing the door.

  Ryder grabbed my arms and examined my wrists. “Are you okay? I thought you did something again.”

  I shook my head and took a deep breath. “No, it’s nothing like that. He knows! Oliver knows! He just told me he plans to tell my father about us. He can’t do that, Ryder. If he does, my father will send you away. Or he’ll kill you. He won’t stand for lying to him. People who betray him suffer.”

  He brought my hands to his lips and kissed them. “Slow down. Tell me what happened.”

  Looking up into his green eyes, I tried to find some sense of calm in them, but it was no use. I knew Oliver planned to follow through on his threat as early as tomorrow. Whatever we did, we had to do it that night.

  “He knows about you and me, Ryder. Oliver knows. He told me he’s going to tell my father. I thought maybe if I got to him first I could tell him what Oliver did to me, but that won’t work. As soon as Oliver tells him, everything we want and dream of will be taken away from us. He needs to be dealt with tonight.”

  For a moment, Ryder looked stunned, like someone had slapped him across the face. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, he said in a quiet voice, “You know what you’re asking me to do, don’t you, Serena?”

  I did. I’d wanted my revenge and to keep Ryder from doing anything to Oliver, but he left me with no choice. If he told my father, it wouldn’t be me sent away this time. It would be Ryder who’d pay.

  “I’d do it myself, but I can’t. I’m not strong enough. You’re the only person who can do this. It’s for us, for the future we want. For the baby he took from us.”

  The surprise faded from his expression, replaced by a look I’d never seen on him. His eyes contained nothing as he looked at me now, like he had gone ice cold inside.

  In a voice so calm it sounded like someone else speaking, he said, “You don’t have to convince me. Stay here and go to sleep, and when you wake up all those dreams you have for us will still be there.”

  He placed his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me sweetly, and I believed every word he said. He’d saved my life twice before, and now he’d protect me when I needed him most.

  “I love you, Ryder,” I said as his hands slid from my face.

  “I love you, Serena. Now leave this up to me and know I would never let anyone hurt you.”

  He walked out of the room, and I exhaled like I’d been holding my breath from the moment I walked down that staircase to marry Oliver and now could finally breathe again. Ryder would protect me. He’d protect us and our dreams.

  And someday, we’d have the chance to escape that place and find that little house with the white picket fence and the back porch where we’d sit together and look up at the stars.

  PART TWO

  Chapter Seven

  Serena

  Staring out from behind the black veil pulled down over my face, I sat on the wooden folding chair on the freshly cut green grass next to Oliver’s gravesite and watched a man crank the handle of a machine to lower the casket into the hole in the earth. His mother sitting two seats away from me wept uncontrollably, sobbing into her handkerchief about losing both her sons in one year, and his father held her hand as he struggled to maintain his composure.

  To my left, my father sat staring straight ahead, as if seeing someone put in their final resting place engrossed him. His face remained emotionless the entire time, even when Oliver’s mother began wailing when the casket disappeared out of view into the ground.

  I knew Ryder stood somewhere nearby, never far away from my father. I yearned to look around and find him to give me that sense of security he always provided, but I felt his gaze on me as I sat there emotionless watching my late husband go into his grave.

  He’d never cared one bit for me and would have been sitting just like I was at that moment if our roles were reversed, so I felt no guilt as I hid dry-eyed behind my veil and silently prayed for the funeral to end so I could return home and begin my life again with the man I loved.

  The man who had saved me from having to live another moment with Oliver.

  The minister spoke a few last words before walking over to me to once again express how sorry he was at the untimely death of such a young and vibrant soul. I simply nodded, afraid if I opened my mouth the truth would come tumbling out.

  “My daughter has had a very difficult time. I think I should take her home now,” my father said as he grasped my arm. Looking past me, he said to Oliver’s parents, “My deepest sympathies on the loss of your son.”

  His mother continued to cry while we walked away toward the road where the car waited for us. We said nothing on our way there. What could be said? I had no idea if my father knew what had happened to Oliver, and I didn’t care.

  I’d never wanted to marry him. My father had wanted that. And now my husband was gone, and I’d be damned if I was going to be shackled to another man simply to suit my father’s business interests ever again.

  I sensed Ryder nearby and turned to see him walking behind us, his focus entirely on me. A tiny smile broke the serious look he wore and told me he was as happy to see me as I was to see him.

  If only we could talk and hold each other instead of having to pretend neither of us cared the other was so close.

  After a ride filled with nothing but more silence back to the estate, I couldn’t bear not being near him for any longer. When my father and Ryder stopped in front of his office, I said, “I think I want to be alone. It’s been a very tiring day.”

  I just hoped Ryder understood my hint and would be able to escape soon.

  To my surprise, my father shook his head. “Unfortunately, even on the saddest days, business must be dealt with. I don’t think it will take long, though.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, confused about what part I could have in any of his business.

  He guided me into his office as Ryder followed. “We have matters to settle concerning your husband’s death, Serena. I wish it didn’t all have to be dealt with today, but that’s the way of the world.”

  I looked over at Ryder and saw him standing stony-faced in his position near the bookcase on the far wall. All I wanted to do was lie in his arms and listen to him tell me about the time when we’d finally get to escape this world of my father’s, and now after enduring days of mourning for a man I felt nothing for, I had to be part of some business deal my father wanted to finalize.

  “Dad, it doesn’t seem in bad taste to conduct business today?” I asked, praying to God some tiny shred of decency existed inside him.

  He poured himself a drink and sat down behind his desk. Grinning like I said something amusing, he pointed toward the red leather chairs in front of me. “Sit, Serena. This isn’t usual business. We have a will to deal with, so as soon as Oliver’s lawyer gets here, we’ll start.”

  I couldn’t believe my dearly departed husband had ever liked me enough to leave me anything of worth in his will. Then again, since his brother was dead too, maybe his will would give me something.

  Not that I wanted anything from him. I had my freedom. There was nothing else of worth he could give me.

  “Doesn’t that usually happen later?” I asked as I reluctantly sat down.

  My father shook his head as his face twisted into a look of near disgust. “I made sure to contact his attorney as soon as I heard he died. No time like the present.”

  Clearly, my father wasn’t in mourning about Oliver’s passing. I waited for him to continue speaking, but he opened up his laptop and his fingers began tapping at the keys, so I sat silently wishing for all this to be over and sneaking glances at Ryder as we waited for the lawyer.

  A short man with glasses and wearing a brown suit too big for his frame showed up less than an hour later clutching an old leather briefcase. Mousy looking, he looked flustered as he waited for my father to wave him into the office. Robert Erickson had that effect on people.

  After they exchanged p
leasantries, Attorney Max Frendle sat down beside me and withdrew a stack of papers from his battered briefcase. “Mrs. Landon, as your deceased husband’s attorney, I must inform you that you are the sole beneficiary of his will.”

  Every word after Mrs. Landon got lost in my brain as I tried to grapple with being called that one last time. I’d never liked having anyone refer to me as that. It always made me feel subservient. While I didn’t enjoy being called Serena Landon, at least when people called me that I felt like I was my own person and not just the wife of some man I’d been forced to marry.

  “Unfortunately, the art appraisal business he and his brother ran until his death is all but bankrupt since they misspent their money. I’m afraid there’s not much left for you to receive after all is said and done.”

  All the better. I never wanted anything to do with Oliver or his business.

  My father, on the other hand, looked genuinely disappointed in my dead husband’s lack of business acumen. Wearing a deep frown, he shook his head slowly as the lawyer explained how little the appraisal house would give him.

  “What a terrible day it has been for my daughter. First, she had to bury her husband, and now as a young widow, she hasn’t even been left a sufficient amount to live on. Thank God, she has family to support her.”

  I cringed at hearing my father refer to supporting me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryder’s eyes narrow as my father pretended to be that wonderful father figure he loved to have the rest of the world see him as.

  Oliver’s attorney attempted to paint a rosier picture, though. “For what it’s worth, the business is a solid one, other than the debts that must be paid, so Mrs. Landon can look forward to profits in the future.”