Possession Read online

  I remained what I’d always been. My mother’s son. Kane.

  “When I’m gone, he’ll want to know you more. He’ll want you to suddenly be his son. Don’t forget all the birthdays when it was just the two of us. Don’t forget every Christmas with not even one gift from him under the tree.”

  I wanted to tell her those were the things I wanted to forget. That even though I tried, I couldn’t hate him and his family like she wanted me to. I said nothing, though.

  “Do you remember that school counselor when you were in fifth grade who told you that you had to fight against your demons? Do you remember what I said to him that day in his office with him and the principal sitting there passing judgment on you like you’d done something wrong in acting in your nature?”

  “Yes, mom.”

  “What did I say, Kane?”

  I swallowed hard and repeated the words she’d said in my defense as those two men glared down at me like I was some animal to be hated and feared. “His demons are what he is. That he doesn’t act like you think he should doesn’t mean who he is needs to be fought against.”

  “Exactly. I worry when I’m gone you’ll forget who you are because your father will swoop in and show you a world where someone like you wouldn’t fit in if he didn’t change.”

  My demons were as much a part of me as my black hair and blue eyes, so her fear that I’d become a different person without them was just useless worry. No matter how much I wanted to shed them, they were who I was.

  I finished tying my boots and stood from the couch to walk to where she sat. Leaning down, I kissed her goodbye like I did every time I went out. “I’ll never be anyone but your son, so don’t worry.”

  My words sounded dismissive, but I’d meant them more as a simple truth. Those demons would never leave me, and no matter what happened, all that she’d taught me would stay with me forever.

  Abbi stirred in the bed, and I looked up to see her gazing down at me. Those big blue eyes that made her look so innocent had fear in them. She should be frightened. Even now, my demons made me want to take her in my arms and bury myself in her.

  Bringing her back here was a mistake.

  * * *

  I LAY on my side and stared down into his almost hypnotic blue eyes. “What do you want, Kane? You must want something or you wouldn’t have brought me here.”

  He said nothing but shook his head, even as he never took his gaze from my face.

  “Do you do this with a lot of women? I still think this is kidnapping, by the way.”

  The corners of his mouth hitched up slightly, but still he said nothing. It was like having a staring match with a cat. Kane merely looked up at me from his place on the floor, which confused me even more. This was his home, yet he chose to sleep on the floor?

  Not much of a captor. That was a good thing. Maybe he wouldn’t hurt me.

  “Please talk to me. You have no idea how strange it is to be in some man’s bed with him silently staring up at you when you ask him question after question.”

  He opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. Pressing his lips together, as if to stop himself from saying something, he finally smiled and said, “I don’t say much. I think you noticed that the first time we met.”

  As he spoke, what I noticed was how perfect his mouth looked. Lips just full enough to be sensual, they made me think of what they’d feel like if he kissed me.

  “You seemed to say a lot earlier when we were in the car.”

  “Uh huh.”

  The mention of our time together after leaving The Carousel Club made me remember I hadn’t returned to get my things there. “I didn’t get my purse and clothes! They’ll be gone by now. The last of my money was in my purse.”

  He said nothing as I began to sob but pointed at a chair near the door where my purse and clothes sat.

  “You got my things?”

  Another nod but nothing more.

  I couldn’t figure out what he was up to. He’d said he didn’t want anything from me, but who acted like this without wanting something? I was basically his prisoner here in this tiny apartment he called home, yet he was the one sleeping on the floor.

  I looked back at him, this time noticing his gorgeous body above the blanket that only covered his legs. Tattoos covered his muscular chest and arms, and a single line of words crossed his lower abs just above his hipbones. As I studied it, I realized the words read DO NO HARM.

  What an odd thing to tattoo there.

  “Do you want to come up here instead of sleeping on the floor? That can’t be comfortable.”

  “No. I’m fine here.”

  Something made me want to comfort him, even though he’d given me no real indication anything was wrong. It just made me feel selfish to let him sleep down there on the hard floor alone.

  I slid out from underneath the sheet covering me and lay down next to him, pulling the blanket over me. In the dim light of his bedroom, I saw the confusion in his eyes. His skin felt heated to the touch as I curled up against his body, resting my head against his shoulder, and everything about him felt hard against me.

  Looking up at him, I asked quietly, “Is this okay or do you want me to go back up there?”

  He said nothing, but shook his head. Unsure if that meant no it wasn’t okay or no he didn’t want me to go back up into the bed, I stayed right there next to him, loving the feeling of safety he gave me.

  “Kane, are you going to make me stay as a bartender or will you let me dance?”

  I felt his chest expand beneath my head. He held his breath for a moment, and then let the air out slowly. I waited for him to answer, to say something, but he remained silent next to me.

  “It’s just that…I really need the money. That’s why I went to The Carousel Club. I’m staying with Gemma, but I can’t expect to stay there forever. I need money to get my own place. If you let me dance, then I’d be able to afford an apartment.”

  Stopping for a moment, I gave him a chance to speak, but he said nothing. He wasn’t going to let me dance. I knew it. Why couldn’t he have just left me at The Carousel Club? I’d been sure that he’d want something from me, but it seemed like he had no interest in that either.

  If meeting my basic needs wasn’t a good enough reason, then maybe a more sentimental excuse could work. “I want to make enough money to help my mom too. She’s sick and lives on what the government gives her, but it’s not enough. If I had more money, I could give her some so she’d have a better life.”

  I looked up at him, afraid he’d fallen asleep, but his eyes were open and watching me. Did he want me to come right out and say I’d do anything he wanted to dance at his club? Was that it?

  Sitting up, I gathered all my courage and quietly said, “Kane, I’ll do whatever you want to dance here.”

  His blue eyes widened for just a moment at my offer, and I waited for him to tell me what he expected in return for hiring me. Instead, he simply stared, making me even more uneasy than I’d been before.

  “I mean it, Kane. Whatever you want, I’ll do.”

  Still not a word from him. He wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? At least I didn’t get the sense that he was a violent man, even with his size. Closing my eyes, I began to unbutton his shirt and finally blurted out the truth. “I mean, if sleeping with you is what you require for me to dance, just tell me. I’ll do it.”

  As the seconds ticked by, he didn’t move. I looked down to see him staring up at me with hurt in his eyes. What had I done to make that happen? I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t figure this man out. So much bigger than me, he made me feel protected instead of frightened, like I was used to with men. He said next to nothing, and now after I’d offered to sleep with him, thinking that’s what he wanted since he’d dragged me back to this place and held me here, he looked hurt by my offer.

  What the fuck was with this guy?

  Reaching out, he pulled me down next to him and wrapped his strong arms around my shoulde
rs, silently holding me as the purest feeling of security washed over me. Unsure of what was happening, I whispered, “I’m sorry if that offended you. I didn’t mean to. I just assumed since you brought me here…”

  “I brought you here because you deserve better than The Carousel Club.”

  “Not everybody can get better, Kane.”

  He tightened his hold around me, pressing my body to his. “You can.”

  We lay there for a long time saying nothing until he broke the silence with a question. “What happened to your hair, Abbi?”

  I hid my face in his muscular chest, embarrassed by how I knew I looked. My long blond hair, the part of me I loved the most, was gone, and all that was left in its place was a hacked up mess. I’d forgotten that, but now I cringed at how terrible I must have looked to him. I struggled to find the words to explain what Aaron had done to me, but then I felt the light touch of Kane’s fingers slowly stroking my hair. Closing my eyes, I let the gentleness of his caress into me.

  “My ex-boyfriend did this,” I explained, ashamed that I’d let Aaron hurt me like that. “He was angry that I left, and he held me down and cut off my hair. I bought a wig so I’d look like I used to since I knew no one would want me to work for them looking like this.”

  In a low voice that made me think he was angry, he asked, “Why do you let men treat you like that?”

  Fuck. I began to think I liked it better when Kane didn’t talk since when he finally said something, I had no idea how to answer. I didn’t know why my boyfriends hit or why I let them. I just knew men always hurt.

  “I told you. Some people can’t get better.”

  His fingers slid down to the ends of my hair and across my neck over and over, like he was trying to smooth away the anger that had caused me to look like this. It made me feel safe and loved. I closed my eyes, but somewhere in the back of my mind I waited for it to stop as all good things did in my life. He’d stop and then he’d become hurtful and angry with me. I’d do something that upset him, and he’d hit me or choke me.

  As I waited for him to get to that point, I felt him press his lips to the top of my head in a soft kiss. Then he whispered, “People will continue to hurt you as long as you let them. Don’t let them.”

  I pulled away and leaned on my elbow. Staring down into his eyes, I asked, “Are you going to hurt me? You basically kidnapped me and brought me here. And look at you. You’re over twice my size and much stronger than me.”

  “I don’t hit women,” he bit out angrily.

  His anger unnerved me, and I quickly moved to change the conversation. “So no girlfriend? I expect if you had one she wouldn’t like you keeping me here.”

  “No girlfriend,” he said quietly in his raspy voice that now sounded unbelievably sexy.

  “Why not? You’re a good looking guy, and I bet lots of women here at the club would love to get their hands on you.”

  “Haven’t found anyone I want, I guess.”

  I couldn’t tell if that was a lie or the truth. All I knew was he didn’t seem interested in me. I could understand that. I wasn’t blind. I knew what he saw. All the better. I didn’t need a boyfriend now anyway, no matter how much I liked the feel of his arms around me.

  Since we were going to be just friends, I pushed further with my questions. Even though he’d basically kidnapped me, as he lay there next to me, I had a feeling he wasn’t all that bad. As bizarre as that seemed. I might as well know the guy a little better.

  “Did it hurt to get those piercings?”

  “Which ones?”

  Pointing at his nipples, each pierced with a silver barbell, I said, “Those. Do you have more? I don’t see any others.”

  “No, they didn’t hurt. I got my lip pierced a long time ago. That hurt a little.”

  “So now you only have the nipple ones?” I asked, more curious about piercings than I thought I could be.

  He gave me a sly grin. “No. I have one other piercing.”

  I turned my head and scanned his body for any others. “I don’t see it. Where is it?”

  After a long pause, he said in a low voice, “My cock.”

  He said that word in a voice that made an ache form deep inside me. Never before in my life had I wanted to see something as much as I wanted to see his cock piercing at that moment. A rush of heat flooded my cheeks, and I looked away, inadvertently focusing on his crotch. Quickly, I looked back at his face and blurted out, “Can I see?”

  What was I doing? I didn’t know, but the words were out so there was no putting that genie back in the bottle. Like when I offered to sleep with him, his eyes grew big for just a moment and then he smiled.

  “If you want.”

  In for a penny, in for a pound, as my grandmother always said. Nodding, I mumbled, “I’ve never seen that before. I’m just curious.”

  For the first time since I’d met him that night of my interview, Kane looked completely sexy and not the least bit scary. Licking his lips, he stared up at me. “Okay.”

  His hands slid his boxer briefs down to reveal his pierced cock. Long and thick, he wasn’t even hard and I knew I’d never met any man so big. The head was pierced twice, and two silver barbells sat on each side.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off them or his cock, but I squeaked out, “Did that hurt?”

  “A little.”

  “Why did you get that pierced?”

  “Long story. Some women don’t like it, though, so I can understand if you don’t.”

  I couldn’t help let my mouth hang open slightly as the thought of that gorgeous cock fucking me settled into my brain. Licking my lips to moisten them, I said, “I don’t know why. It’s hot.”

  Holy fuck! I’d just said to him that I thought his pierced cock looked hot! I wasn’t lying, though. I suddenly wanted more than anything to know how it felt when he was sliding it inside me. It was insane, but I couldn’t help it.

  Thankfully, he slid his underwear up again before I did anything I’d regret later. A few seconds more and my brain might have thought it was a good idea for my hand to touch his piercing.

  God, I was a mess. Barely out of a relationship with Aaron and here I was ogling Kane’s cock.

  Quietly, Kane said, “Abbi, I didn’t hire you to dance for me because I wasn’t sure you could handle it.”

  I turned to face him and shook my head. “Why?”

  “Because I knew someone was hitting you. You have to be tougher to dance for men, even here. If I had left you at The Carousel, you would have gotten hurt.”

  “So that’s why you took me out of there?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t want to see you hurt.”

  “Why? You barely know me. Why would you care if I got hurt?”

  “I don’t know. I just know that from the moment I met you I wanted to protect you.”

  “So you kidnapped me and brought me here. I guess that’s technically protecting me, but it’s more like holding me hostage.”

  His blue eyes grew softer as he looked up at me and said, “I couldn’t think of another way. I’m sorry.”

  The way he said those words made my breath catch in my chest. I couldn’t remember the last time a man had apologized for doing anything to me.

  “Well, of all the things I’ve had done to me, I guess this isn’t the worst. I mean, you even let me sleep in your bed while you took the floor.” I stopped for a moment and then looked away. “And you don’t seem even interested in sex with me, so…”

  “I don’t force women to sleep with me to dance here.”

  The tone of his voice told me I’d hurt his feelings again. Jesus, the guy was just trying to help me and I’d offended him twice already.

  I turned to face him and saw that hurt settle into his eyes. Reaching out, I touched his hand. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Kane. I just don’t know what to say here. I’m not used to people doing nice things for me without expecting something in return. I keep thinking you must want something from me.” I lowered my h
ead and tugged on the sprigs of hair near my nape. “I get why you wouldn’t want to sleep with me, though. I mean, I know what I look like now.”

  “My not sleeping with you has nothing to do with how gorgeous you are. It’s just not something either one of us wants me to pursue. Trust me.”

  The only thing I really heard was that he thought I was gorgeous. No man had ever told me I was gorgeous. Pretty. Hot. Sexy. But never gorgeous. But if I was that wonderful to look at, why didn’t he want me?

  I stared down at this strange man who’d shown me his piercing but wanted nothing to do with sex with me. Who had come to The Carousel Club and had taken me out of that place to protect me. And who lay there gazing up at me like I was some kind of angel or something, even as I sat there next to him with the proof of Aaron’s rage all over me.

  Kane lifted his arm and wrapped it around me. “Come here. Time for us to get some sleep.”

  I snuggled up next to him, loving the hardness of his body next to mine that made me feel safe and secure. With my head in the space between his shoulder and his neck, I closed my eyes and breathed in the clean scent of soap on his skin. No fancy cologne or body spray. Just soap.

  Then I felt his fingers gently slide through my hair, and for the first time since Aaron had hacked it all off, I felt beautiful.

  Gorgeous.

  “Thank you, Kane.”

  He remained silent for a long time and then whispered in his raspy voice, “For what?”

  “For making me feel beautiful again.”

  Squeezing me tighter to him, he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “You’re welcome, Abbi.”

  I tenderly ran my fingertip down his jaw and over the red scratch I’d given him earlier. “I’m sorry I scratched you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  He said nothing but kissed the top of my head again, like a sign he’d forgiven me.