SILK Volume Three Read online

  More than ready. A few minutes more of this and I might not be able to walk until morning.

  Jamming my hands into her hair, I tug her head down onto my cock so all of me is in her mouth. The tip hits the back of her throat, making her gag a little, so I lift her a few inches and say, “Suck me dry.”

  She does just as I command and sucks my cock like only she can. That mixture of innocence and experience melds into a blowjob better than any she’s ever given me, and when I flood her mouth, she takes every drop I have to give.

  And when she lifts her head to let me slip out of her mouth one last time, her smile shows me I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed myself.

  I pull her up onto my lap but not to fuck her again. This time I just want to hold her and tell her how much I love her. She curls up against me and whispers, “I know we had our reunion yesterday, but I just wanted to say I missed you so much when you were gone.”

  There’s a sadness in her voice from how lonely I know she was, and I hate that I’m the reason that’s there. I place a kiss on the top of her head and tell her the truth. “I never meant to hurt you, Kristina. I swear I didn’t.”

  She shakes her head against my chest and wraps her arms around me. “You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t mean to hurt me. I understand now. Sometimes when you’re in love you do things and when you see they hurt the person you care for, it hurts you too.”

  “I promise no more hurting because of that. I promise.”

  Looking up at me, she gives me a gentle smile and nods. “We might as well get to this dinner you made. It’s probably cold by now.”

  “We’ll just heat it up. And when we’re done, I want to tell you all the news about Silk.”

  Kristina sits up straight on me and knits her brows. “News? Something else happened?”

  I kiss the tip of her nose. “I promise to tell you everything after dinner, but I’ll give one hint. How would the role of Kate Silk sound?”

  Her eyes get big as her mouth drops open. “Role? Is someone thinking of making a film of your book?”

  “Our book and no more details until we eat, so we better get moving.”

  She hurriedly puts on some of her clothes as I slip my satisfied cock back inside my pants, and even as we eat dinner, she can’t help but ask to hear more about my details concerning Silk. I hold off telling her, wanting to wait until we’re settled in on the couch in each other’s arms to tell her about all the interest in our story.

  “Please tell me now, Ian. I’m so excited to hear about all of this,” Kristina says eagerly as she cuddles up next to me on my leather couch.

  I run my fingers over the ends of her hair as I explain about the emails I’ve received from agents, publishers, and the producer all interested in Silk. As thrilled as I knew she’d be, she’s all smiles at the idea that what began with just the two of us could become something so much bigger.

  Resting her head on my shoulder, she looks up with curious eyes and asks, “So what are you going to do?”

  “You mean what are we going to do. It’s our story, Kristina. You’re my muse, and Silk wouldn’t exist without you.”

  “I didn’t do anything, Ian. You wrote this story. This is your talent they love. Your story people are talking about. I’m just a character in the book you crafted.”

  I shake my head at how wrong she is. “Ian Anwell writes historical fiction. He writes it pretty well too. But T. Anderson only writes when you’re with him. All those weeks we weren’t together and every time we’ve been apart even for a few days, I didn’t write a word. I couldn’t. Silk is our story. Without you, there is no story.”

  “I read it, you know. The day before you came back,” she says shyly.

  “What did you think?”

  “It’s so full of passion and love. Is that how you see us?”

  “Of course. I love you.”

  She lowers her head. “I love you too, but I didn’t realize how much you felt for me early on.”

  I tip her head back and kiss her softly. “From practically the moment we met. And before that I was already addicted to you.”

  “Another addiction,” she says sadly.

  “A good one, though. Being addicted to you has never hurt me.”

  Shaking her head, she frowns. “That’s not true. There’s Rome and when I ran away from you that first time. And…”

  “And what? None of that was you hurting me intentionally. I know that.”

  She buries her head in my chest and mumbles, “I’m so sorry, Ian. I’ve done such awful things because I’m so stupid.”

  I try to get her to look at me, but she won’t budge. I kiss the top of her head and say in her ear, “You didn’t do anything stupid or awful. It’s okay. Why don’t I tell you what I was thinking about for a Silk film? I bet that will make you happy.”

  Kristina lifts her head, and I see she’s crying. Wiping her tear-stained cheek, she sobs, “I’m not unhappy, Ian. I just regret the things I’ve done to hurt you.”

  I cradle her face in my hands and try to kiss her worries away. “You didn’t hurt me. What do you think about you starring in the film, if it’s ever made? I can’t imagine another actress ever being able to play Kate Silk as well as the woman she’s based on.”

  “Me? Do you think that could ever happen?” she asks in amazement.

  “I won’t have it any other way. It’s you or no one, Kristina. There are also agents looking to talk to me about taking the book to a New York publisher too.”

  “Do you want to do that? Won’t that be a problem with your books?”

  “It might be, so I have to think long and hard about what to do. I won’t do anything without your input, though.”

  “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. That’s all that matters to me, Ian.”

  I pull her close and nuzzle her neck. “You know what else? I’m going to include what we just did before dinner in Silk and Steel.”

  For the first time since she arrived tonight, I hear her giggle. Leaning back, I see a blush cover her cheeks at the mention of me writing that scene, and I can’t help but be charmed. For as uninhibited as she is when we make love, she’s still that sweet, bashful woman I met in Jax’s.

  And I love both the madonna part and the whore part to her equally.

  Four days of complete and total bliss, most of them spent in Ian’s arms, have made me feel like everything in my life had turned around. My role in Original Sin has made me realize it was time for me to spread my wings and try meatier parts. Gavin has been perfectly agreeable to keeping our dalliance private as the relationship he’s begun with another of our co-stars is taking off and he doesn’t want to ruin his chances with her.

  And best of all, Ian and I are happier than I thought two people possibly could be. The bumps in the road to this point tested us, but we’ve come out stronger on the other side, and I couldn’t be more in love.

  Life is truly good and getting better every day.

  Ian moans softly in his sleep as he rolls over to lay his head on my shoulder. His scruffy beard scratches my skin, but I don’t care if he forgets to shave again today like he did yesterday. Spending all day in bed leads to that, even if we did move to the shower for a while before returning to right here to spend the night, him writing and me watching him.

  I never thought sitting next to someone as they write could be so interesting. He chooses every word so carefully, just like when he speaks, so that the end result is entirely magical to the ear and the eye. Under his care, the characters come to life as he gives them terrible obstacles and forces them to make heartbreaking choices, but I know in the end Kate and Sean will end up happy, just like Ian and me.

  I watch him as he sleeps so contented and like to believe that I’m a big reason why he no longer tosses and turns like he used to. I fell in love with a man who will forever struggle with addiction, and I want to be the one he can’t shake.

  Maybe that’s selfish. Maybe it’s something I should be a
shamed of because I want him to not be able to live without me like I can’t without him.

  I don’t care if it is and I won’t be ashamed of wanting the kind of love he gives me. Some love is worth it.

  His hand rests heavily on my stomach, trapping me there next to him as he sleeps, but in truth, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be. I lightly trace the outline of his long fingers, noting how strong they feel even when they aren’t holding me or balled into a sensual fist as he tugs at my hair in the heat of passion.

  My finger glides up over his over arm, toned and lean, to his shoulder, and I stop as I reach his collarbone, afraid if I continue I’ll wake him. I could lie here forever just studying him and be perfectly happy.

  The only thing that would make me happier is to hear him tell me he loves me or say something sexy in his special way only he can do, his words so perfectly chosen that they can excite me without him even touching my body.

  His dark hair hangs over the left side of his face, hiding his chiseled cheekbone and eye with its long lashes. I want to reach out and run my fingertip down the bridge of his nose so straight and perfect. He’s so beautiful lying there peacefully beside me as if all his demons have been slayed and what’s left is the man I’ve adored from that first night we met.

  For the first time with a man, I feel like tomorrow will be okay.

  I lean over to kiss the top of his head, loving the silky feel of his hair against my lips. Inhaling deeply, I smell the light coconut and vanilla scent from the shampoo I used to wash his hair yesterday afternoon. It’s warm and sensual like him, and forever it will remind me of standing in the shower with the water pouring over us and me working hard to convince him to let me use my shampoo on his hair instead of his old ordinary brand and him finally giving me a crooked smile and saying, “I can’t refuse you anything, so go ahead. Do your worst.”

  As I reminisce about the sex that followed, my phone vibrates in my purse nearby on the floor. Looking over at Ian’s nightstand, I see the clock says it’s just after nine. That’s entirely too early for anyone to be texting me. I ignore it and return to enjoying the thought of Ian making love to me. Texting before ten in the morning is just rude.

  But my phone vibrates again two minutes later. And then three minutes after that. Whoever it is doesn’t understand phone etiquette, so I try to ignore the almost constant vibrating noise coming from my purse. But by the time ten texts have come in, I begin to worry that it isn’t just rudeness on someone’s part but a real emergency.

  Easing my arm out from underneath Ian’s head, I reach for my purse and grab my phone. I swipe the screen and there in front of me I see the reason my phone is blowing up.

  The one thing I dreaded more than anything else in the world has happened. Somehow, the tabloids have found out what happened in Vancouver and they’re announcing it like it’s a goddamned gold rush.

  Kristina, the celebrity gossip site All The Dirt is running a story about you and Gavin Somers in Vancouver saying you cheated on your boyfriend! Who the fuck is your boyfriend? Is this serious? Why do they think this is a huge story? Call me ASAP!

  Joanne’s text makes my stomach clench in terror. Is the story already live? I scramble to figure out when her message came in. 9:01. And it’s 9:20 already!

  Another text comes in, this one from my agent. Her fourth text of the morning tells me she’s confused and frightened. I know exactly how she feels.

  Joanne hasn’t stopped texting me about whatever you did in Vancouver and some boyfriend here. What’s happening? What is this about? Are you okay?

  No. I’m definitely not okay. I look over at Ian still sleeping peacefully as everything else in my world is crashing down around my ears. All I want is to have him hold me and tell me everything will be okay, and he’s the only person I can’t look to for help now.

  Oh, God. What am I going to do? When he finds out what happened with Gavin, he’s never going to forgive me. Why would he? He was battling his demons in that rehab center and I couldn’t even stay loyal and stand by him.

  I’d leave me too.

  No! I couldn’t let that happen. I had to find a way to fix this before he found out. I couldn’t let him be hurt this way.

  Another text from my agent makes my blood run cold. Is T. Anderson really the author Ian Anwell? Why aren’t you calling me? Call me now!

  Oh my God! How did they find out?

  I need to see this story, so I quickly find All The Dirt’s website on my phone and read through the story as my heart pounds frantically in my chest. The title of the article is awful, and it only gets worse from there. Somehow they know everything.

  How could they have found out?

  Two Timing ‘Tina

  All The Dirt hears that actress Kristina Richards has been very busy lately. First she was seen kanoodling with her co-star in Original Sin Gavin Somers while they were shooting in Vancouver recently, and as you can see by the picture below, they were just as cozy as two people could be. Our source reports that cuddling in a restaurant booth isn’t all they were up to either.

  But now we here at All The Dirt hear that while she was getting hot and heavy with Gavin, her boyfriend, author Ian Anwell, was off at rehab again trying to shake his drug habit for the fifth time. So he was trying to clean up and she was getting down and dirty.

  And what might be the biggest news of all?

  Sources confirm that Ian Anwell, bestselling author of the historical fiction books Caligula’s Dream and Nero’s Nightmare is, in fact, T. Anderson, the author of the book that’s on everyone’s ereader this year, Silk!

  Two timing ‘Tina has been very busy indeed! But the question now is: How will her boyfriend handle the news of her infidelity?

  I feel like I’m going to throw up. When Ian finds out I not only cheated on him when he was in the fight of his life but also that the world knows he’s really T. Anderson and the author of an erotic book, he’ll never forgive me.

  My mind spins with what to do. I can’t tell him. I don’t know how. Maybe I can get Joanne to get that website to retract the article.

  But why would they? Nothing they wrote is false. Probably a first for them.

  The walls of Ian’s apartment begin to feel like they’re closing in on me. I need to get out of here and figure out what to do. Silently, I get out of bed and dress to leave.

  To run away. In truth, that’s what I’m doing.

  As I turn to leave, I look at his serene face as he sleeps and choke up as tears well up in my eyes. I don’t want to go, but I need to see if I can fix the damage I’ve caused before he gets hurt.

  Who am I kidding? He’s already been hurt. I can only pray that when the world finds out he’s really T. Anderson that what he’s feared all along won’t happen. If his publisher and readers turn on his historical books, I won’t be able to forgive myself.

  I’m sorry, Ian. I never meant for any of this to happen.

  “Sienna, please tell me you didn’t sell the details of my life to that All The Dirt website.”

  I see by the shock in her expression that she genuinely doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I didn’t think it was her, but I had to ask. Sagging against the wall outside her door, I hang my head. “I’m sorry. I never thought you’d really do that to me.”

  “Kristina, come inside and tell me what the hell is going on.”

  She takes my hand and drags me in as I begin to explain everything that’s happened that morning. By the time I reach the part about my dating Ian and his secret pen name being revealed, her mouth is hanging open in shock.

  “Oh my God, honey! What are you going to do?”

  As I practically collapse onto her loveseat, I shake my head, trying to hold back the tears. “I don’t know. And I don’t know which is worse—Ian finding out I cheated on him with Gavin while he was in rehab or his secret out for everyone to see?”

  Sienna gives my hand a sympathetic squeeze, but I can see in her eyes how awful even she thi
nks this is.

  “Okay, what’s the worst that can happen?”

  My heart skips a beat as the thought of what the worst truly is tears through my brain. “Ian never forgiving me for betraying him not just once, but twice. Me losing the man I love.”

  “Okay. Well, is there any way you or your people can get this story killed?”

  I shake my head. “No. They didn’t report anything false, so I don’t have a leg to stand on. And it doesn’t matter anyway if they did. It’s out there already.”

  “How did this happen, Kristina? Who did you tell other than me?”

  “I only told you that day at the café.” Then the truth hits me. Cilla. “Oh my God! Cilla sold her story to that rag site for money, didn’t she?” I ask in horror as the reality of it settles into my mind.

  For a moment, Sienna can’t believe it, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. “I can’t believe that, Kristina. Cilla’s a lot of things, but she’s wouldn’t do this to you.”

  “She would if she was desperate for money, which is exactly what she is if she’s back with her ex-husband. She sold the details she’d heard that day to All The Dirt and now my life is ruined.”

  “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I brought her that day. I’m to blame.”

  “No, you’re not. This is my fault. I cheated on him.”

  “But how did they find out Ian’s really T. Anderson? You never told me that, so Cilla couldn’t have overheard it.”

  I close my eyes and lean my head back against the cushion. “I have no idea. I never told anyone, so they must have found out on their own.”

  “What are you going to do? You can’t just wait for him to find out on his own, Kristina. You just left him there in his apartment without even telling him you were leaving?”

  Barely holding back the tears, I hide my face in my hands. “I didn’t know what to do, so I ran, like I always do when I get scared. My publicist and my agent have been texting me like mad all morning, but I don’t know what to say to them either. None of it’s untrue, so what’s the point?”