If You Fight (Corrupted Love Book 2) Read online

  He remained silent for a long time before he turned to look at me. Pressing a soft kiss onto my lips, he whispered against them, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there this week.”

  I kissed him as the tears rolled down my cheeks. “I know you needed me too. It won’t always be like this. Please, don’t give up yet.”

  Ryder cradled my face in his hands, and as I reveled in the feel of his strength, he pressed his forehead to mine. “What are we going to do?”

  I may not have known the answer to many of his questions, but I knew the answer to that one. It was the only answer available to us.

  “We’re not going to give up. No matter what they do to us, we can’t give up. That dream can come true. We just have to fight for it.”

  As he took me in his arms and held me, he whispered, “God, I hope so. It’s all that keeps me going some days.”

  I knew just how he felt.

  Chapter Four

  Ryder

  The house buzzed with staff hurrying to and from the front door preparing for the party Robert insisted would bring happiness and celebration back to the house. Trays of food, cases of alcohol, and more flowers than a coronation called for came in deliveries all day so the hallway outside his office looked like a busy city street with people marching back and forth with arms full of everything needed to make his plans come to life.

  I had little interest in attending his party, but it didn’t matter if I wanted to or not. I’d be expected to be there and play my part, just like at all his get-togethers. I’d had to pretend Serena’s accident and the miscarriage hadn’t torn me up inside from the moment I heard that doctor say she lost our baby, remaining stoic and cold while all the while I wanted to take out my rage on that fuck Oliver for what he’d done to her and our child. The last thing I wanted to do was perform my show horse act at another of Robert’s parties and have to watch Oliver mope around like some grieving husband trying his best to get over the loss.

  “Ryder, you’re practically sullen today. I’m certainly hoping I can expect you to be livelier tonight at the party,” Robert said, rousing me from my daydreaming about the night’s festivities and how much I wanted to pull Oliver into a side hallway and slit his fucking throat.

  I forced a smile and nodded. “I’ll be there with bells on. You know me.”

  He stared at me for a moment like he was studying me. “I do, son. I know you well, so I can say without a doubt that something’s wrong lately. What is it?”

  The last thing I wanted to do was tell Robert what was bothering me. If I mentioned anything about Serena or her injuries, I ran the risk of him suspecting we were far closer than we pretended to be. And anything else that might have been wrong with me he wouldn’t understand or care about anyway, so what was the point of mentioning any of it?

  Shaking my head, I answered, “Nothing at all. I’m the same as always.”

  He studied me again for a few more seconds and frowned. “Well, whatever it is, the answer to whatever problem you’re dealing with is tonight’s party. Did I tell you Janelle and her husband will be there too, so we’ll have the whole family back together, at least for one night?”

  Whenever he included me in his idea of family, I wanted to believe that I could tell him what I knew about Oliver and what he’d done to Serena. Families protected one another, so maybe he’d take care of that son of a bitch once and for all and Serena would be free.

  But then the reality I knew to be the truth always rushed into my brain, pushing out whatever fantasies of family loyalty I wished existed. If I told him Oliver pushed Serena down the stairs, he’d know she and I were far more than just two people who lived in the same house and who he pretended were actually family.

  “Janelle and Charles too? That’s great,” I answered with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for the thought of seeing those two. I disliked and distrusted her, and I didn’t give a damn about him.

  “Yes, and I think having all her family around her will do wonders for Serena, don’t you?”

  Nodding, I silently catalogued how much I knew Serena wouldn’t care about her sister and brother-in-law being at the party. Janelle’s presence never failed to make her wish she was anywhere else but near her, and Charles was practically a stranger to her.

  “And I’m hoping that this little get-together will help her husband to feel better about things too. He lost a child just like she did, so they both need our support.”

  I clenched my jaw and nodded once again as Robert’s kind words for Oliver made my stomach churn. That fuck had lost nothing and deserved no support. What he deserved was what I’d someday give him when I finally got the chance to exact my revenge.

  If he was lucky, I’d do it quickly. If he wasn’t, I’d torture the motherfucker for taking something so precious away from me.

  “You might as well go get ready. I want you there front and center at seven sharp.”

  Always happy to have a reprieve from Robert, I smiled and meant it for the first time in our conversation. “I’ll be there like usual. You know me.”

  He winked and smiled back at me. “That I do, son. That I do.”

  At exactly seven o’clock, I took my place next to Robert, just like he instructed, and did my show horse act for each person who approached him. With every one, he said the same thing.

  “You remember my adopted son, Ryder, don’t you?”

  And every important looking man who heard it looked me up and down and confidently replied, “Of course. It’s good to see you again.”

  None of them meant a word they said, and those words were no exception. I suspected a few of them may have remembered me, but I served no purpose in their world, so their claims that it was good to see me again rang hollow.

  They said what they knew Robert wanted to hear because they wanted to be on his good side. Nothing more. It didn’t bother me how meaningless I was in the world he shared with them, though. I didn’t care. All I cared about stood on the opposite side of the room next to her husband and pretended to want to be there just as I did.

  “And there’s his sister and her husband,” Robert announced when he noticed Serena had arrived. “Now to find my other daughter and her husband and we can begin.”

  Eager to escape, even for just a few moments, I turned to him and said, “I can go look for her, if you’d like.”

  The thin woman standing with one of Robert’s favorite congressmen smiled at hearing my offer. “Isn’t he wonderful? Robert, you’re very lucky to have a son like him.”

  Nodding, he beamed like she’d just told him he’d won a billion dollars. “I am very lucky.”

  I excused myself and headed out toward the main hallway, glancing over at Serena as I made my way to the door. The frightened look in her eyes told me she worried I wouldn’t be coming back, so I mouthed I’d be right back, and she smiled.

  Janelle came through the front door a few seconds later dressed in a tiny red dress far too formal for the occasion, but her husband wasn’t behind her. She walked quickly toward me, her high heels clicking off the marble floor, and before I could say a word, she said, “Don’t bother looking for him. He’s not coming tonight.”

  “Your father will be disappointed. He wanted the entire family around him tonight.”

  My statement made her laugh, and then she twisted her face into an expression that showed how little she believed it. “He’ll be fine as long as Serena and I are here. And you too, of course, his adopted son.”

  The snide way she said that indicated she disliked how Robert referred to me as much as Serena and I did. I had a feeling she was jealous, like my presence meant she’d be cheated out of something she thought was rightfully hers someday because he liked to call me his son.

  She had nothing to worry about. I wanted nothing he could give me.

  “He’s already in there,” I said as she breezed by me toward the dining room.

  Before she walked in, she turned around and asked, “Has he moved the chair
s already? I’m assuming there will be dancing like always?”

  “You know him. I’d bet money on it.”

  “Well, then tonight’s your lucky night. My husband’s absent, so you get to be my partner since Serena will be with Oliver, I’m sure.”

  Forcing a smile, I tried not to look as disgusted as I felt at the thought of Oliver touching Serena. In addition, I’d hoped to have as little contact as possible with Janelle tonight, so having to dance with her or do anything at all with her made me hate this party even more.

  Robert announced Janelle’s arrival while I faded into the background, thankful for at least a few minutes of not having to be his favorite show horse. Taking a spot against the wall at the opposite side of the room, I watched Serena stand stiffly next to Oliver, who looked more bored than anything else. Every ounce of my being wanted to walk over to her to close to her. I thought of how I could tell her how beautiful she looked in her deep green velvet dress, but I knew that fuck of a husband of hers would just make a scene, so I simply stared at her, wishing we were anywhere else in the world but there.

  As long as we were together, it didn’t matter where we were.

  For nearly a half hour, I had my reprieve from Robert and socializing with people I barely knew. From my vantage point, I watched as he flattered his guests, likely in an effort to take their money in an upcoming business deal, and Janelle slipped easily back into her drunken party girl routine she’d practiced before her marriage. Oliver joined them and seemed to be happier without his wife than with her, while Serena stood alone at the party that was supposed to be for her.

  While they enjoyed themselves, I made my way over near her and whispered, “You look beautiful tonight. Are you okay?”

  She didn’t turn her head but moved her eyes to look toward me. “My wonderful husband told me as we were leaving the apartment that if he saw me talking to you I would regret it, Ryder. I don’t want to start anything here tonight. Not with all these people around.”

  “Does he know?” I asked as I watched him glad-hand some man and his wife.

  “I don’t think so. He just has a problem with you. He always has.”

  From across the room, Robert said loudly, “Where are my daughter and Ryder? Come over here. I want to make sure everyone has met you two.”

  Suddenly, every head turned and looked at us as we walked over to join Robert and the rest of the family. Out of habit, I put my hand on Serena’s lower back to guide her and saw Oliver’s face twist into a look of hate as he saw me touch her.

  “Everyone, I think you know my daughter Serena and my adopted son Ryder,” Robert said as he wrapped his arms around us. “Tonight I have almost my entire family here. We’re missing my daughter Janelle’s husband Charles, but we do have Serena’s husband Oliver. One big happy family, right?”

  As he said this, he looked around at the four of us like he wanted to see our reaction to his ridiculous claim. Janelle lifted her wine glass in salute to his words while Oliver merely smiled through gritted teeth as he glared at me. Serena and I exchanged glances and played our parts, like we knew we must.

  We’d done this enough times to know how we had to act.

  “Music! We need music and dancing. Ryder, since Janelle is without her husband tonight, you’re going to have to take his place. Serena, your husband promises me he’ll do his best, even though he says he’s not much of a dancer.”

  “Daddy, it’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on Oliver. Not everyone can be as good as Ryder,” she said, hate for her husband dripping off each word.

  I stood in shock as Serena spoke. Robert’s eyes opened wide like he understood she hadn’t been trying to be complimentary.

  “Ryder does seem to have dancing in his blood, but Oliver, all you have to do is give it your best shot,” Robert said with a wry grin, almost as if he enjoyed tweaking his son-in-law’s ego.

  As I paid attention to the tension-filled look Serena and her husband shared, Janelle grabbed my arm and twirled in a circle next to me. “Time to dance, brother.”

  Thankfully, other couples began to move toward the empty space at the end of the room so it wouldn’t just be the four of us on display. I’d be able to watch out for Serena easier with others around me to distract Robert.

  Janelle took my hand in hers and waited for me to slide my arm around her waist before she began moving her feet. Already too drunk to do much of anything close to dancing, she smiled up at me and asked, “Do you remember that night after Serena went away and Daddy made us dance together at that party he had outside? It was right after she went to Italy.”

  The memory of that night raced through my mind, leaving little to mention. Janelle had been drunk and just like that first party, she spent as much time falling into me as she did dancing. She also let her hands wander, grabbing my dick like she had the first time too.

  Looking away to get a glance at Serena, I answered, “Yeah.”

  I saw Serena and Oliver dancing nearby, the two of them barely touching one another and both of them looking miserable. I wanted to grab that husband of hers and dump Janelle on him so I could dance with Serena and bring a smile back to her face.

  “You were still nursing a broken heart over my sister leaving, so nothing happened between us. But it could have if you weren’t so lost without her.”

  I turned back to look at Janelle and saw her watching me carefully. “I didn’t realize you ever wanted something to happen between us. You are my sister, after all.”

  She laughed at my attempt to use her father’s words against her. “That’s ridiculous, and you know it. You’re no more my brother than Oliver is. By the way, he hates you. Did you know that?”

  I nodded, not wanting to act like that fact wasn’t well-known to even me. “I’ve heard.”

  “He’s sure she’s in love with you. That’s why their marriage is in shambles. Have you heard that?”

  Glancing over at Serena, I saw her walk away from Oliver, even though the music hadn’t stopped. Worried about her, I forgot what Janelle had asked me, but she grabbed my jaw and turned my head to face her again as I mindlessly moved my feet and pretended to dance.

  “I think he’s got it all wrong, though. I think you’re the one in love with her. You can’t keep your eyes off her, Ryder. I wonder if she knows, though. Does she?”

  “There’s nothing to know. I care about Serena like I care about you. That’s what family does,” I answered, staring straight down into her brown eyes as they watched carefully for any sign she was right about how I felt for her sister.

  As the music began to fade away, she smiled and said, “I wonder how my father would feel if he knew how you felt about her. He’s very invested in that marriage working, Ryder, so I assume he’d be unhappy if anything upset that.”

  I stopped dancing and shrugged. “Then maybe he should talk to his son-in-law and tell him how to treat his wife. Thanks for the dance, Janelle. It was a pleasure as always, even without you palming my cock.”

  The mention of her copping a feel on my crotch made her smile, but I had nothing more to say to her. All I could think about was Serena and making sure she was okay.

  Oliver stood at the bar downing a drink, so I hurried out to look for her. Passing a few guests who stood talking about some deal they wanted to make with Robert, I walked down the hallway and as I glanced into the kitchen, I saw her standing at the counter looking out the window into the courtyard.

  “Not in a dancing mood?” I asked quietly so the people in the hall couldn’t hear me.

  She turned around and wiped under her eyes. “Not with him.”

  Stepping toward her, I took her hand in mine and instinctively looked around to see if anyone was nearby. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

  A look of pain settled into her beautiful face. “In front of my father, he pretends to be the comforting and loving husband, but when we’re alone, I can’t stand to be near him he’s so vicious.”

  “What did
he say? You look like you’ve been crying.”

  Serena swiveled her head to look around for anyone who might see us and then tugged me toward the back of the house. “Nothing more than usual. He hates me as much as I hate him. Let’s go somewhere we can be alone.”

  We hurried to the utility room at the end of the hallway leading out to the apartments, and I closed the door behind us, happy to finally be alone with her. She quickly wrapped her arms around me and lay her head on my chest, making me wish we never had to return to the party, Robert, Janelle, or Oliver ever again.

  I held her to me and whispered against the top of her head, “Are you still sure you want to go through with this whole revenge plan of yours, Serena? Is it really worth it? You’re miserable, and every minute you have to spend with him…”

  She looked up at me and frowned. “I know it’s hard on you. I know and I’m sorry. Just give me the chance to do this.”

  “It’s killing me knowing you’re over there with him every night,” I said, barely able to hold back the rage inside me at how much I hated him for what he’d done. “That he thinks he got away with hurting you and killing…”

  I couldn’t finish my sentence and looked away. I imagined he walked around their apartment like some fucking king who felt he had the right to do whatever the fuck he wanted and he’d never have to pay the price. I wanted to make him pay and pay dearly.

  Serena kissed me softly on the lips and cradled my face. “I know. I promise it won’t be for long. I just need to do this, Ryder. I need to prove to myself that I’m strong enough. You can understand that, right?”

  That I understood her need for revenge didn’t make it any easier to deal with him still walking around with that smug look on his face whenever I saw him. But I didn’t want to make her think I doubted her, so as much as I wanted to put an end to all of it with Oliver, I said nothing and pulled her to me.

  “It won’t be for long. He’ll get what he deserves and that will be that. My father might even figure out it was him and do it for us,” she said against my chest.